Happy Halloween!

I cannot believe we are at the end of October. It has long been my favorite month, with its chill breezes and gorgeous leaves in all their finery. Not to mention the pumpkins and apples abounding, and the pies, oh my! There is that sweet tooth, again!

I am expecting about 100 trick or treaters. That is what we had last year; although, I think with the economy the way it is, there will be more than usual!

I laid in the candy, and honestly, I only have eaten one tiny Snickers bar. Alas, I must confess that I have birthday chocolate stashed away. My friends were too generous!

A little trick or treating can be such fun! I enjoy all of the little ghosts, goblins, wrestlers, etc. My dog started hating the door bell after our first Halloween in central Florida. Now she barks at door bells on the TV, also.

I wanted to share my lovely corpse with you. “What!”, you say? I know; it is a little complicated. It started as an idea for my next book, which I call Waiting for the Rest of Your Life. I wanted a photo to show how long I had been waiting for it–the rest of my life that is. So there it is! The only problem is it is a little macabre, O.K. a lot macabre, perhaps. I still like the idea; I’m not sure I can put it into the book. People may not think this is funny.

What do you think? Let me know!

Women Warriors Part Two

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_VKSMgNXlc
Greetings to all! A splendid Sunday to everyone!
It is only 87.8 degrees here in East Central Florida, at 10:11 AM. Whew! It has been a hot spell! Where is the cool air?
Fortunately, we live in AC here; what a blessing! I think Florida would be pretty deserted much of the year accept for that!
Now, getting down to serious stuff, we all are aware that it is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. I don’t think that we should overlook the people who are battling other types of cancers, though. Why don’t we have other months, or dates, to pay tribute to our other warriors?
I have the pleasure of knowing a woman warrior who battled lymph cancer last year, and into early this year. Sheryl is a member of eWomen Network, and a talented musician.
Friends of Sheryl’s, including friends from church, and eWomen network created a schedule of volunteers to help her. These friends took Sheryl to chemo, stayed with her during chemo, helped with pet care, and stayed with Sheryl when her husband, Leon, had to be out of the home/office.
I had the privilege of taking Sheryl to chemo and staying with her for one session. I was glad for the opportunity, as I had no real experience with cancer treatment. I have heard many stories from friends, co-workers, and patients, so this gave me more insight into their journeys.
I have a new poem that I wrote last week, and I would like to dedicate it to Sheryl, and many others who have battled cancers. Here it is:

The Invader Within

Was the cause environmental,
Or was it family genetics?
How did this happen?
Perhaps, it was just karma
Bringing me this dark, unwanted gift
This cancer

The alien DNA
Hidden in the structure
Of the genome
Its time bomb releasing
Microscopic invaders burrowing
Into tissue, my tissue

Facing myself in the mirror,
Today, chopping long dark hair
Shorter and shorter still
Wondering who is this stranger
Who stares back
Stone-faced and resolute?

I begin this deeply personal
Uphill battle, or is it downhill?
Warrior stance—I am ready
“Let’s do this!” to my husband
We travel silently to chemo
Unspoken words blowing through
Our minds like autumn leaves

He holds my hand as we begin
IV dripping, we watch morning TV
Oblivious to the screen, thoughts
Still flowing, overflowing, synchronized
With the IV releasing the drug/poison
I will it to find the interloper
“Seek out the alien intruder, now!”

Many weeks have passed, now
Time has slowed to a turtle’s pace
I have sat in that recliner
Many hours, with IV piercing my flesh,
Chemo flowing, a soft cap covering the baby fuzz
Where my hair used to be
I turn my mind inward, pray and give thanks

Liquid ninja’s course through my veins

“Finish it”, I pray, “amen”.

You can access Sheryl’s music and story at:
http://www.sherylpaige.com/

Women Warriors

It is the month of October, which is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Today’s blog is dedicated to the women warriors who have battled breast cancer.

I have met many of these women over the years, so I know how prevalent breast cancer is, particularly with older women. Statistically, about 182,000 women get breast cancer each year, about 46,000 of whom die from the disease–about 1/4th of women.
The photo is of Theresa, a survivor going on her second year. She is a very special lady; and I salute her!

Only about 5 percent of breast cancers occur in women under age 40.
About 25 percent occur in women under age 50. About 1 in 40 women die from breast cancer before age 75.

Here are some links for information, or to make a donation. Make sure you check out the Army of Women. org. This is a site where you can sign up to be a study participant (depending on the area the study is in).
http://www.cancer.org/

I enclose a poem from my book Water Running Downhill, which is a tribute to women with breast cancer.

BY DESIGN

What is a breast?
It is, by design, in its simplest form
A source of nourishment
A literal ‘fountain of youth’

A breast is an ornament
Of the flesh, ascetically varied
Rounded, pillowed, or arched-
An achingly, beautiful sculpture of nature

A breast is a haven
For comforting small humans
Or sheltering family or friends
With arms and bodies enfolded tightly, as in prayer

A breast can also give or receive
Pleasure, with our partners
As active participants
In the mating dance of life

A breast is the epitome, of the heart
Of womankind- with our breasts
We nurture, comfort, and love
That is why we hold them so dear

Through breast cancer, women may
Lose these deeply personal pieces
Of their flesh, that share so much
And give succor to life

But, we must remember that
Women are the origin of strength
In this world, and with or
Without breasts, we are the same!

We will still nurture,
We will still comfort,
And we will still love!
We will do this, by design

By Joan Ellen Gage

(Dedicated to Tina and to all of her sisters)

YOUR TRUE COLORS

I was waiting for my flu shot Friday afternoon, and whiled away a couple of minutes looking at a local rag in the reception room. An article caught my eye about color.

Actually, color fascinates me. I have seen my closet go through many decades. There were pastels in my youth. Paisley prints in the late 60’s, early 70’s, with cotton Indian tops and jeans. I was amazed in my early 30’s how many rose prints I owned (I still love that stuff!). It wasn’t until my 40’s that I entered my “purple period”. I still am there, although I wear a lot of green and love yellows, even some shades of orange are infiltrating the wardrobe!

Gazing at purple makes me feel fabulous. It quickens my heart and stimulates me, really!

So, what is this leading too? Look around your home and see what colors draw you. What colors in nature call your name?

It seems that color affects us in many ways–physically, mentally, and emotionally. My favorite color combinations are yellow and Hydrangea blue (really a purple blue), and yellow and purple. It turns out that both yellow and purple encourage creativity, and creative thoughts!

I need a room with a Hydrangea blue wall, and the rest of the walls yellow! I think I could write there!

Here are some links to color quizzes for you:

Since I’m on the subject of wardrobe, again! (I told you I was obsessive!). Here is a poem about recreating yourself through your closet!

ABBI-NORMAL

How did I get to be “normal”
I spent my life being a square peg
Shy, then outrageous, or funny

I never wanted to go along for the ride
Always the individual
The rebel, resisting the status quo

I was a little late for Vietnam
Or I told myself, I would have protested
I was the flower child, moccasins and all

The 9 to 5 grind, and the pressures of
The working world have molded me
Rounding my prickly edges, somewhat

I have sensible clothes, tailored and proper
For work and the occasional event
Mainly, I have sturdy jeans and tees

I’m starting a renaissance of myself
Beginning with my closet
I am exorcising dull and boring
(Goodbye brown, hello purple!)

I’ve got my “cool” back
It was just misplaced, not forgotten
I may be a funky aging (?) hippie, but I have style
I love being this quietly outrageous person
One must be true to one’s own self
This I accept, and applaud, loudly

Don’t be a cookie cutter image of anyone
Find your true colors
And step into the unique garment of yourself!

Pets As Family

As I write today, I am not alone, I am kept company with our wonderful Belgian Shepherd, Magnolia. She is always following and watching, a true shepherd.

I never understood why people treated animals as their children, or as family, until I had my first dog. I had enjoyed the company of cats for years, and I always thought they were good companions. Dogs are just more connected to you, they demand that you interact with them, and your lives become entwined.

A pet is a friend who will never desert you. They are faithful to the end, always giving you unconditional love. Seldom do we find as true a friend.

Here is a poem for my Magnolia, my Maggie.

MAGNOLIA

I feel her watchful eye upon me
Always keeping track, following
Wherever I go

Fleet of foot
Playful and spirited
Her dog smile lingers

Sometimes we play chase
Other times we cuddle
Trusting eyes gaze into mine
Filled with love
What bliss!

Traveling at the Speed of Now

I am settling in after my latest out-of-town adventure. Fortunately, I have a three-day weekend, this week.

Friday was a catch-up day for my correspondence (at least most of it!), yesterday was house cleaning-yuck. Over the years, this has never become more endearing to my heart–go figure!

I showered and changed clothes after I was finished cleaning. Having nothing pressing to do, I decided to sit on the white wicker settee in the bay window of my living room. Sunshine was pouring in the window after a gloomy morning, and I leafed through a plant catalog where I had, some time ago, earmarked a few pages.

Low and behold, I caught myself dozing, then gave into the sensation. I cannot tell you when I have felt this calm and quiet–it has been a while. May be that second (tiny) cup of coffee has been the culprit in the last couple of months; my sleep schedule has been very disrupted. I have been careful not to have caffeine in the afternoon; I have been deluding myself about that quarter cup of coffee (really, that is all it is!).

Today’s photo is of my friend, Renee from South Florida. She is a yoga instructor, and is the most enlightened person I have ever known. I always felt calmer in her presence.
I was planning to use Renee’s photo in my book Water Running Downhill!, for the following poem. Unfortunately, every time I convert her photos to black and white I have issues. It is her lovely white hair. I have trouble with black and white photos when I am using a subject with black or white. Admittedly, this needs work.

Here is the poem!

THE ZONE

While sequestered as a willing tenant in
Your self-made prison of busyness
Dream of ways you can be free

To give yourself the gift of
A precious few moments, no distractions
Lock out your outer “life” and meditate

Find that it is almost a new experience, as
You may have forgotten the sensation
Of pure awareness, and nothing else

So used to being the “amazing balancing act”
You have found it hard to stop doing and planning
And just become still

Discover that one can see so much clearer
When traveling at
The speed of now

BLUE SKIES

I guess I was born a worrywart. At any rate I tend to ruminate, which means dwelling on a situation and obsessing on it. Supposedly one can turn off the worrying by distracting himself. Humor tends to help, so I will try reading a joke when worrying gets me.
I was flying back from a family reunion today and I was cloud-gazing, watching lovely air-puffed sculptures floating in the stratosphere. It was a fantasy landscape, and as I drank in the beauty, I was struck by the irony of this cloud-cover. On the flip side of ethereal ice crystals would be gray skies; probably rain, also.
Here I was on the sunny side, lucky me! Underneath this layer were earth bound ant size (or smaller) humans, scurrying hither and yon, braving the precipitation and wishing for clear skies.
The realization was that life is like this. Storm clouds and economic woes threaten, all nature of unexpected things may befall us, but this is the human experience.
But, like the clouds and rain, blue skies would eventually show themselves again. Likewise, we will get through the tough times and we will survive!
Remember that we are responsible for our responses and attitudes within our situations. Please share a smile today and everyday, and spread the sunshine around! Here are some lyrics from the classic song Blue Skies. Enjoy!

Blue skies smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see
Bluebirds singing a song
Nothing but bluebirds all day long
Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right
Noticing the days hurrying by
When you’re in love, my how they fly
Blue days all of them gone
Nothing but blue skies
From now on

Wedded Bliss

I wanted to honor my father and mother, today. They just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary! This is quite a watermark, especially by today’s standards, as divorcing has become so easy and commonplace.

Mom and Dad went to the Adirondack Mountains, where they had honeymooned 60 years ago. They climbed part of the trail to Bald Mountain, which they have climbed for many years on many anniversaries.

Life passes so quickly. Often we are left with regrets that there was some unfinished business or a path not taken.

We need to respect our achievements, however tiny we think they are. They are stepping stones to the future. Whether you are struggling in your work life, or your home life. We must recognize our efforts and take a positive approach. Remember that a marriage of 60 years was just a series of small steps in a life’s journey.

I have a friend’s daughter who was married yesterday afternoon. I enclose a poem that I wrote for their wedding. Congratulations Callie and Rodney! I wish you a long and happy marriage!

Take my hand
And I will take yours
Encircle me with arms
Strong and sheltering, then
Feel our hearts swell and
Burst open with wild vines
Of Jasmine and rose—that climb
And entwine us closer together
Blooming sweet perfume intoxicates
Onlookers with the scent of our love
Your lips velvet soft–breathe
Into mine tasting of honey
And blackberry wine
Suspended in this golden moment
We take one another as bride
And groom—this day, and ever after
We become one
Callie’s wedding
By Joan Ellen Gage
7/11/09

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOP-AHOLIC ON A BAG LADY BUDGET!

There are internal forces battling within me, always! I seem to have a split personality (maybe split more than two ways?). In one corner is the chicken, fearful of new experiences, afraid of driving in new places, heavy traffic, etc. The other “half” is bolder, forcing the “chicken” to get out and do the thing it fears–kicking it’s chicken butt out there. It has taken the bold part of me many years to accomplish this feat.
I also have a very thrifty side (from the Scottish and German side of the family), and a “twin” that absolutely loves to shop. This has gotten more prevalent over the years as my shopping “gene” has developed, which is part of my OCD gene that has turned on.
I am in love with color, love buying clothes , shoes, bath products and jewelry. I have a drop-earring collection that I have put into plastic organizers so I can see what I have.
I have organized my clothes my color. This after a hospital visit some time ago. As a dental hygienist, I had been taught from day one how not to contaminate my hands with bacteria in a public restroom. After using the facilities in the hospital, I stepped out and saw the elevator ahead of me. I just couldn’t press the button with clean hands, so I used my elbow. A doctor saw me do this, and laughing, stepped into the elevator. “You’re OCD”, he chuckled, “I bet you have your closet organized by colors”. “No”, I countered, “but, that’s not a bad idea”. So thus it became so.
But 90% of this purchasing is on sale or from Target, Walmart, T J Max, thrift store, yard-sale, or consignment shops. Very little of what I own have I paid full price for. Therefore, I ease my guilty conscience with the knowledge that I got it on sale!
I usually sneak the bags into the house, so my spouse does not see my ill-gotten gains. My mom tells me that my paternal Grandmother would buy dresses and hide them in the back of her closet. Eventually she would wear one of them, and Grandpa would ask “is that a new dress?”. Grandma would say “Oh no, I’ve had this for a while”, which was true.
I was discussing this kind of purchasing with one of my patients, some time ago. She told me that she kept a red marker in her car and would mark every tag with a slash mark. She wrote 50% off on each tag and her husband was always impressed with her shopping. He never had a clue! What brilliance!
I saw the movie Confessions of a Shop-aholic this week with my friend Dani. This women had run up $16,000.00 buying clothing–not just any clothing either. She was addicted to Gucci, Prada, etc. I felt redeemed. Nothing I buy is in that ballpark. I decided that I am a shop-aholic on a bag lady budget!
Enjoy the day; and if you must shop, don’t be too good for the economy!
Adios!
Joan

BUSTED AGAIN!

As a follow-up to the Chocolate Cheesecake Affair, I thought this would amuse you. Although, it does not refer to chocolate!

I was shopping last week at the new Target, as I had a $5.00 coupon off $25.00 of groceries. Since I never pass up “free” money, I was determined to get that amount!

My friend Dani met me at Target for a latte and a walk around the store. After I had purchased some fruit, veggies, etc., Dani suggested the cookie aisle-oh, oh! Well, Target does have some good cookies, I especially like the chai tea ones. They are spicy with cardamon, cloves, and cinnamon–yum!

I took the dry goods and left them in a shopping bag in my guest room closet. I often do this when I am having a party, which I was having this coming Saturday. My husband left for N.C. this morning, and I am having girl friends over for a cook-out.

While I was puttering around the house last weekend, I happened to be in the guest room and remembered the cookies. I decided to open them (no self-control!), and did! They were as wonderful as I remembered, and only 5 grams of fat for 3 cookies! So I had a couple. Then I had a couple more the next day.

Monday came, I went to work, looked at the schedule, and discovered that I needed my digital camera to take after photos on a patient. I called my husband, Rob, and asked him if he could drop off the camera. When I finally reached him, he had gotten my message and was looking for the camera.

“What are these chai tea cookies?” he asked. “What are you doing in the guest closet?” I countered. “My camera is always in the main closet, as is yours!”

Well, I was busted, again! I had to explain that I was not hiding cookies. I don’t think he believed me! I have not had a cookie, since!

Enjoy the day, everyone! Have a cookie or a piece of chocolate, and celebrate the wonder of it all

Oh, and here is that chocolate cheesecake recipe from my friend Dani!

CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY TRUFFLE CHEESECAKE
Prep: 30 minutes Cook: 1 1/4 TO 1 ½ hours Chill: 6 hours
Serves: 12 to 16

This cake is rich, loaded with chocolate and raspberry jam. Serve small slices – a little goes a long way.

1 (9 0z) package chocolate wafer cookies *
3 Tbs butter (melted)
12 oz Semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups – C)
1 ½ C heavy cream
3/4 C seedless red raspberry jam
2 (8 oz) packages cream cheese (softened)
3/4 C Sugar
4 Eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 325*F. In a food processor, grind cookies into fine crumbs. Add melted butter and process until thoroughly mixed. Press into bottom and about 1 inch up sides of a 9 inch spring form pan. Refrigerate crust while preparing filling.

2. In a 2 quart glass bowl, combine chocolate chips and 1 cup cream. Heat in a microwave oven on high 3 to 4 minutes, or until mixture is smooth, stirring twice. Mix in jam and stir until dissolved. Let cool 10 minutes.

3. In a large bowl, beat together cream cheese and sugar with a electric mixer on medium speed until smooth, 1 to 2 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add vanilla and chocolate-raspberry mixture and beat 5 minutes. Pour mixture into chilled crust.

4. Bake for 1 1/4 to 1/ ½ hours, or until cheesecake is set around edges, but still jiggles slightly in center. Let cake cool, then refrigerate until well chilled, 6 hours or overnight.

5. When ready to serve, run a knife around edge of pan to loosen cake and remove spring form side of pan. Whip remaining ½ cup cream an, using a pastry bag fitted with a ½ inch star tip, pipe a border around edges of cheesecake.

* You also can use chocolate graham crackers crushed or 2 pre-made Oreo pie crusts removed from their tins

Take care!
Joan

The Chocolate Cheesecake Affair

We were in Pensacola, Florida last week visiting family. While we were there, we dined on wonderful southern fried shrimp (Oh My!), hush puppies and cheese grits. All in all we had fried shrimp three times last week, so I had planned to go back to my regular diet. Thus said, my friend Dani decided to tempt me with her wonderful chocolate raspberry cheesecake.
Monday arrived; I had consumed my usual work week lunch of flat bread with hummus and baby greens, a banana, and one Dove chocolate. Dani had wanted me to stop by on the way home from work, to visit (and get cheesecake, of course!). Unfortunately, one of Dani’s dogs ate a toy and had thrown up all over the living room. This was not an atmosphere to eat cheesecake, so I drove home.
Later that evening, Dani’s son Travis arrived at the door with a plate with two slices of cheesecake. Since we had burgers that evening (although I had no bun and low-fat mayo), we declined to eat the dessert that evening. We really were full!
On Tuesday, I found that I had time to come home for lunch. After the delicious hummus sandwich–yum! I decided to forgo the banana and devoured the cheesecake.
This was no ordinary cheesecake! It was loaded with dark chocolate, had an Oreo cookie crust, and a raspberry finish! Hubby came in and I remarked on the wonderful dish. “Have it for dessert”, I said, as I left to go back to work.
I came home Tuesday evening and the cheesecake was still there! I had entertained a secret thought all afternoon, if the dessert was there that night, I would have the second piece.
In my defense, cheesecake is not my husband’s favourite dish; nor is it usually mine. Also, he does not love chocolate like I do, he only likes it. I have a much more intimate relationship with chocolate, especially the dark kind.
We had dinner, my husband went out for the evening, and I ate the cheesecake. This time I savoured it slowly. It was exquisite, really!
Wednesday arrived. I was at my office, when my husband came up to the front desk where I was working on the computer. He had just had a dental appointment with my dentist boss. “There has been someone in the house”, he announced to all. “What do you mean?” I questioned. “Who was in the house?”, I asked anxiously. “Well!”, he said, “someone came in the house and ate my cheesecake. I know that my wife would never do that, so it had to be an intruder!”.
The whole staff had a good laugh at this. “But, you don’t even like cheesecake, or chocolate that much”, I countered. “You should have eaten it for lunch, as I had suggested.” Of course this did not convince him, and he continued to tease me unmercifully.
Dani, if you read this, add your recipe to the comment area. I know everyone will want it now!
Everyone, please post your chocolate comments!
Here is a poem that I wrote in honor of the special relationship I have with dark chocolate.

Have a delicious day!

Joan

The Chocolate Rebellion

It had started innocently enough
And certainly there had always been
A life-long love affair with chocolate
Beginning with those childhood
Tollhouse semi-sweet morsels

But, somehow the stresses of midlife
The added tension, the impatience
All became sharpened, intensified
And work began to interfere with living
Or with the desire to live freely
And to direct one’s lifestyle
No longer wanting to exist
Under the supervision of others
Either at work, or anywhere else

Chocolate became one mode of therapy
Along with the occasional glass of wine
And the wonderful ear of a girlfriend
Who really understood and encouraged
Piloting those flights of fancy
Or feelings of self-actualization

The chocolate punctuated the stolen moment
Of pleasure, hidden from disapproval
Or the look that delivered the guilt arrow
Into the heart, to curb the habit and to stop
The creeping weight gains of menopause

Nothing seemed to help that, really
Not the exercise or the fiber in the healthy diet
Still the menopot stayed on, languished there
Silently mouthing “feed me” and the thing was fed
The dark chocolate
And the feeding became a rebellion
Validating and fortifying the power of dreams

Chocolate savored in secret trysts
Chocolate, the friend, the confidant, the co-conspirator
Chocolate, the inspiration and the reward
And the rebellion continued . . .
Won’t you join the movement?