"Gilding or Re-building" the Lily?

How lovely these Amaryllis are, proudly holding up their heads. They are like young women, adorned with colorful garments.
I love being the age I am; I do not like the aging part. These days I am spending more time “gilding” the lily. Just holding those wilting “petals” up requires a good diet with supplements, enough sleep (this is often lacking!), lots of exercise, investing in some good skin-care products, and lastly, make-up.
I was very fortunate in my youth, as I had good skin. I tried makeup, however, it just melted off in the Florida heat. So, I rarely used any powder or liquid makeup. I think that alone was an important factor in the clarity of my skin.
Now, past mid-fifty, I am applying makeup more and more often. The complexion seems a bit blotchy no matter what I do. Also, since I wear a mask when I work, this doesn’t help. Masks create heat and, yes, I am always sweating!
Reconciling oneself to their aging profile is not easy. These things do happen slowly, and that helps. But, self-esteem is sometimes compromised, as we feel good when we know we look good. Maybe I have to give up magnifying mirrors? They are so NOT our friends!
I guess the face-lift and/or other surgery (AKA “re-building the lily”) is a possibility. I think I am too much of a coward to go through with that; knives scare me! Furthermore, I’m not sure I can afford these procedures. Perhaps a laser peel? Hmmmm.
Unfortunately, society is not kind to the aging woman. Men are allowed to age “gracefully”, their graying hair is “sexy”etc, etc. Women are reduced to hags. It’s the American way, and it is a crock!
Let’s band together and give each other the support we need to just love our aging selves. We are beautiful, through and through–we should know this!
Here is a poem from the upcoming book, which I tentatively renamed Embracing Your Inner Hippie! Have an outstanding week!

Fountain of Spoof

First come the little
“Smile” lines by the eyes
After a while, lines deepen
And are followed by brow-furrows
Complemented with “marionette” lines
On each side of the mouth
[I swear that is what those “in the know”
Are calling them!]

Our first defense consists of lotions
And creams that we literally slather
On our skin; most of these products
Don’t do much, or live up to our expectations
I personally will attest to this
Still, I continue to try the latest and greatest
(Within budget) hoping for a mini-miracle or
At least some hint of positive progress

I guess I’ll settle for maintenance
i.e try to stay where I’m at
Rather than trying to reverse the
Hands of time on the “wrinkle clock”
We certainly need to smile more
Nothing looks better on us!
Let’s work on keeping our chins up
Even if we have to pull ’em up and tie them there!

SOLITUDE AND THE ELUSIVE "NOW"

Love that Magnolia girl!

Good morrow to you all! It is a gloomy, breezy day here. Still, it is green, lush, and lovely! If only the pollen would quit–achoo!
I have finally gotten to my quiet moment. The washing machine has quit; I decided to wait to run the dryer. The dog is sleeping, the spouse is out. It is so calming to hear nothing!
I don’t know how we do it? Day out, day in, we have some much noise and distraction. It is no wonder we are running around stressed to the max. We need to tune out the noise and tune in to nature.
I had some moments of “now” this week. I had to force them on myself; then was glad that I had. I will continue to subdue myself on a regular basis–it is for my own good!
I have a quote on my calendar “Peace is a quiet mind”, no author noted. That hits home for me. An author I have quoted before, Sue Patton Thoele, writes from her book, Growing Hope, “being still allows the murky waters of our minds to clear and invites the light of heart and soul to shine on and from our inner and outer lives.”
Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power Of Now, tells us that “Presence is needed to become aware of the beauty, the majesty, the sacredness of nature.” Additionally, a quote by Virginia Woolf says that “In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us”. Finally, Anne Morrow Lindbergh writes, “There is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.”
This is great “food for thought”, and good inspiration for my addled ADD brain. Here is a poem from my book, Water Running Downhill. Have a wonderful week with moments of solitude!

Joan

COCOON

Creating calm
In your life
Is as essential
To your existence
As oxygen

We have become
Hurried, harried
Hustling husks
We have forgotten
To breathe

Nullify the noise of
Modern Life
Shipwreck yourself
On your island Aerie
Nurture your native side

Unplug the phone
Cut off your cell
Become incommunicado
Turn off the tube
Acquiesce to quiet

Bask as bird song
Blends with the
Beating of your heart
Knowingly choose to be
A universe of one

Then, gratified and grounded
Will your authentic
Sated-self slip
Into your cocoon
Of silence

TRYING TO TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF "NOW"!

It is spring, yes! My Azaleas are spectacular, thanks to the cold weather. It is one part of the yard that looks good. I’m still not sure if some of the plants are alive. Some severe trimming will reveal all.
Mi esposo has been in NC putting some electric into his shed/workshop with the help of his son. I have done a wonderful job of amusing myself, by being a social butterfly, and reconnecting with friends and family in South Florida. I’ve also had dinner and/or snack fests with friends.
I have not yet put pencil to paper! I’m good at turning on the new big screen TV and distracting myself. What I need is quiet; it is the only way that I can focus on writing.
Last night I turned off the television. This morning I walked then had breakfast on my porch. I do love being in the “now”. As a potentially A.D.D. person, it is my habit to eat quickly, not mindfully. I am trying to do this today–savor the flavor, texture, and scent of food, watch nature, and breath.
Author Sue Patton Thoele, in the book Growing Hope, calls finding yourself through solitude and quiet “defragging your inner hard-drive. I like that. One of her examples in defragmenting includes “writing down bothersome thoughts, releasing them by burning, tearing, or putting them in a little jar of water in the freezer (on ice)”, clever, no?
I make a resolution, today, to make a little more quiet time in my life. I will chew slower, pray more, and breathe slower.
Here is a poem from my book, Water Running Downhill:

THE ZONE

While sequestered as a willing tenant in
Your self-made prison of busyness
Dream of ways you can be free

To give yourself the gift of
A precious few moments, no distractions
Lock out your outer “life” and meditate

Find that it is almost a new experience, as
You may have forgotten the sensation
Of pure awareness, and nothing else

So used to being the “amazing balancing act”
You have found it hard to stop doing and planning
And just become still

Discover that one can see so much clearer
When traveling at
The speed of now

Quotes:

There is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before.
–Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation. For when you come back to your work, your judgment will be surer.
–Leonardo Da Vinci

Have a blessed week!

Joan

SPRING IS IN THE AIR!

Spring has arrived; at least it has in Florida! The weather was spectacular, today! High pressure is keeping us sunny, although the wind is blowing pretty heartily.
Oak leaves and pollen are showering us constantly. You get out the blower and clean it up, a few hours later it looks like you have done nothing!
We have been working on cleaning up the yard; actually Rob has been doing all of the hard part. Since he’s retired, he has taken over most of that activity. He has been removing some of the dead plants and tops of plants that suffered during the freezing winter weather. I did some planting this afternoon, a little weeding, and cleaned up the dirt and those dratted oak leaves!
Along with the season of spring comes a need to open up and air out the house. I have been doing some spring cleaning for the past couple of weekends; reorganizing closets and donating some things. I have a long way to go! But, I am making headway.
There is something wonderful about clearing out clutter. Apparently it makes us feel lighter in spirit, also. As if the mental clutter goes out with the clothes and shoes, etc. Plus you get a good feeling when you donate items that can help others.
I challenge you to consider starting a similar project, this week, to see how it makes you feel. Let me know how it went!
Here is a spring poem from my unpublished book, Naturescapes. Have a bountiful week!

Peace!

Joan

Spring Forth

Brilliant multi-hued
Easter egg shades
Illuminate and complete
The transformation
From stark winter-bare
To the richly adorned
Newly verdant landscape

Spring awakens and
Brings forth
Sleepy bulbs from
Their cozy winter beds
Nodding and stretching
They unfold their
Many colored heads

"PET " OF MY HEART

Pets, how we love them. They are forgiving, constantly giving us love and affection in turn. Here is the lovely Magnolia with my friend Ruriko. This dog will snuggle forever, as long as you snuggle her!
Domestic pets give us more than love. Animals also help us to have lower blood pressure and enable greater healing for patients who have had heart attacks.
Studies show that pet owners have less depression, greater self-esteem, and more social contacts. Apparently, the dog or cat can act as a social catalyst between the owner and another person. Furthermore, pet owners report being happier and having a lower stress response, which lowers blood pressure.
I know that my sweet dog makes my life happier. She is playful and joyful. I am more present when we are sharing a moment.
Here are some quotes:
An animals eyes has the power to speak a great language–Martin Buber
We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals–Immanuel Kant
My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet–Edith Wharton
A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution–Hazel Nicholson
Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes–Theophile Gautier
Dogs are not our whole lives–but they make our lives whole–Roger Caras

Have a marvelous week!
Joan

THE QUEST FOR HAPPINESS!

A Joyous Good Morning to You All!
How is everyone today? I think that the weather has improved for a great deal of the country. Florida is finally getting a warm-up. It has been crazy cold here! But, I’m not complaining. So many of you have been freezing–literally!
My theme today is The quest for happiness, something that seems to elude so many of us. Much is written about finding happiness. Many sources speak to the difficulty of this search. Apparently, many of us deny ourselves happiness, as we think we don’t deserve it. Or we think that if we are happy, now, that something terrible is coming to dispel it.
So what do we do? “Practice acceptance”, says M. J. Ryan, author of The Happiness Makeover,”try not to judge yourself or others critically. . .they’re (you are) doing the best they (you) can”. Ryan also speaks about thankfulness, for today, and for what you have. She emphasizes celebrating good things, as this creates joy.
Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, author of The How of Happiness, says that there is a “genetic component to happiness”. But, she says that it is also “a skill you can learn”.
Other habits to break are, ruminating (circular thought patterns) and negative thinking. Keep an open mind! (jan 10 family circle 99 , Happy Talk by Steve Calechman)
More good reads are Happiness Now, by Robert Holden, PhD, and Shortcuts to Bliss, by Jonathan Robinson. If you are not into reading self-help books, look to the internet for articles and quotes to make you smile.
Oh, by the way, today’s photo is of my friend Dani, who is exploring and hacking her way through the jungle of life. I love this picture, Dani reminds me of Lucille Ball here. Too droll!

Quotes:
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy–Anne Frank
Optimism: a cheerful frame of mind that enables a tea kettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose–Unknown
Happiness is not in things; happiness is in you–Robert Holden
When one door of happiness closes, another opens: but, often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us–Helen Keller

And lastly, a poem from Water Running Downhill!

State of Grace

I sent this message
Out to you
Grasp it
Let it define you
Live it
Take it to heart

The revelation is
This is the moment
The present, and
Nothing else exists
Be here
Seize the “now”

Be your bliss
And therefore
You shall be
Blessed

Have a great week! Smile!

The Chicken Diva of Dunnellon

Last weekend my husband Rob and I went to visit the Chicken Diva in Dunnellon, Florida. This is my friend Elisa, collecting fresh eggs! Visiting these friends is like staying at a B&B, with lovely accommodations.
Elisa and her husband Dario have a mini-farm complete with 5 dogs, a few rabbits, 2 roosters, and several hens. Oh, and Dario is a chef! He prepared gnocchi with a red sauce and sausages–it was fabulous! I got to help the chef; I riced the potatoes and added flour as needed.
It was interesting to watch the older rooster, Norton, run the female population around. Stellino, the younger cock of the roost, was gentle and reserved. This was unusual for a rooster.
Stellino had tried to mate with Mimi, Elisa’s free range hen and kept falling off! So, Mimi would run away from him “She doesn’t think he knows what he’s doing”, Elisa confided.
After we returned home Sunday afternoon, I called the “farm” and wanted to thank our hosts again. I was saddened by the news that Stellino had just leapt up and keeled over, dead. Perhaps the reason he was so “tender hearted” was that he had a tender (bad) heart. We’ll never know.
Here is a poem for Stellino:

Ode to Stellino

You were gentle
Crowing quieter than
King Norton who strutted
Cocky testosterone-filled
He a ladies man
You shy, untried

Rest well feathered friend
One remembers you
Who held you when
You were small
You took a peck
Of her heart
With you

Happy Valentines Day!

Greetings Valentines!

It is the much touted romantic day of days, Valentine’s Day. We have exchanged the traditional cards and greetings with kisses.

I made pancakes this morning to sweeten the day. Baby-back ribs are planned for dinner, with sweet potatoes, baby spinach salad, and Key Lime pie for dessert. We actually travel to South Florida for the ribs, to Torchio’s in Boynton Beach. They have the best meat and have true baby- back ribs. This is not a gourmet feast like Sam, From My Carolina Kitchen, would make (check out her blog!); but, it’s simple and tasty.

Saint Valentine’s Day, per Wickipedia, “is annually held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions. The holiday is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius in AD 496. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by gifts,cards, etc. The holiday first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. “

Courtly love sounds so romantic, doesn’t it? I could enjoy being courted with gifts and flowers! Oh, and how about courting me with some house cleaning, or with cooking or doing the laundry? Oh romance, how you have changed! Although taking me shopping with no limits would work! Hmmm. . .
Here are some quotes for you love birds!

Soul meets soul on lover’s lips.
~ by Percy Blythe Shelly ~
I love thee, I love but thee With a love that shall not die Till the sun grows cold And the stars grow old.
~ by William Shakespeare ~
One word frees us Of all the weight and pain in life, That word is Love
~ by Socrates ~
Paradise is always where love dwells.
~ by Jean Paul F. Richter ~
The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.
~by Unknown
~ Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.
~ by Germaine De Stael ~

Lastly, here is a poem from an unpublished love anthology that I wrote for my husband, called As Souls Meld:

DÉJÀ VU

I believe
We have met before
Another time, another life
It is the only explanation
That explains our closeness
And our chemistry together

I touch you
And it feels as natural
As breathing in and out
My skin knows yours
Intimately
Our scents mingle as one

I cannot imagine
Life without you
It would be like
An empty void
Lacking all familiar

I would strain
To hear your laughter,
Your music, your voice
My eyes would search
For signs of you

But we would leave
This world
Only to be reborn
And meet again
My love-
Deja Vu

The Art of Patience

Welcome Friends!

This truly is my Achilles heel–lack of patience! Usually I do well, throughout the day. I work with dental patients, and exercise great patience with them. Unfortunately, I tend to tire from a long day, or week of this. So, it is my private life that tends to suffer from occasional bouts of impatience. I need to learn to develop my “patience muscle”!

Here are some ideas that will help all of us to practice greater patience. First from M.J. Ryan, author of The Power of Patience (article from Womans Day 4/1/05):

1) Take 10 minutes each day to take care of our needs, and set priorities for the day.
2) Keep a pebble in your pocket and switch it to the other pocket when you are losing it!
3) Give yourself all the time you need to accomplish something–no stopwatch!
4) Snack healthy, sleep more, have less caffeine.
5) Note and compliment patience in others.

Destina Moga of MakeoversLife.com, offers a meditation exercise for patience.
1. Find a quiet spot.
2. Sit down. Get comfortable.
3. Close your eyes.
4. Clear your mind.
5. Say to yourself, “I have an ocean of infinite patience that trickles in all
of my relationships and daily actions.”
6. Repeat this phrase until you begin to feel like you are creating a space
for infinite patience in your inner dialogue.
7. End the exercise by saying to yourself, “My work is done now.
Thank you. Peace.”
8. Practicing this exercise daily will bring patience into your life.
9. In time of impatience, say to yourself, “I have an ocean of infinite patience”

Lastly Jeanne Zornes from PowertoChange.com, suggests we:
1) Laugh off Murphy’s Law
2) Lower our expectations, look for excellence instead of perfection
3) Allow others to fail you–don’t expect perfection from others, be gracious
4) Pray or meditate instead of fretting

These all seem to be great fodder for the impatience monster. I am willing to practice these suggestions. Hopefully, I will subdue the critter!

Here are some quotes:

Patience is the companion of wisdom.

–Saint Augustine

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.

–St. Francis de Sales

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.

–Benjamin Franklin

Have a peaceful and patient week!

Joan

The Recovering Worrywart!

A good day to all!
It is surprising that we have spent January already! It seems like Christmas was just a couple of weeks ago. I have gotten mired in normal life, again. Which is not bad at all. Unfortunately, being on vacation does not pay me well.
Today we’ll touch on the subject of worrying. We all do it at times. Those of us who are more obsessive certainly do it more. Raise your hand if this is you–I knew it! O.K. It’s me, also!
Apparently, constant worrying, brooding, or ruminating is not healthy. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema Ph.D., author of Women Who Think Too Much, says these thought patterns are over-thinking. Nolen-Hoeksema says that this behavior is also a negative way of thinking. The author says to use strategies to help you keep worries at bay:
1) Don’t trust your negative thoughts
2) Fight back (interrupt the process)
3) Switch your focus (get out and do something!)
4) Banish night worrying (get out of bed and do something pleasant)
5) Schedule a worry session (no more than an hour, and do it when you are feeling up)
6) Write your problems down (to clarify them)
7) Talk to someone (sharing can help you find prospective)
8) Do something joyful (to enhance your feeling of well-being)
9) Let go and let God (pray or meditate)

Nolen-Hoeksema also advises us to take control of your situation to calm your mind, try to find self-acceptance, forgive yourself, and forgive others. Some other suggestions are to set reasonable goals, put more fun into your life, and make more friends.
M. J. Ryan, author of The Happiness Makeover, says to “figure out if you can do something about it”, when you find yourself in “worry mode”. “Plan for the presentation you have to give”, or, if it is something out of your control, “make a list of all of the possible good outcomes”.
Richard Carlson, Ph.D., author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff . . . and it’s all small stuff, writes that one should “look at a situation as if it were happening in a year from now”, and “ask yourself the question will this really matter a year from now?”
This is good advice; I’ll try to take it to my heart. I do need to!
Here is a poem from the yet, unpublished book, tentatively called Waiting for the Rest of Your Life:

Patch, Patch, Patch
Why is it?
Just when
You think things are going to be
Rosy
Life sideswipes you and
Throws you in the ditch!
I seem to spend
Half of my life
Patching things back
Together
The other half I spend worrying
About
Whether of not the patch will hold!
Oh, no!
Don’t tell me
Is that another
Leak
I hear?

Have a worry-free week!

Peace,

Joan

You Gotta Have Hope!

Welcome!
Today I want to speak to you about something that we cannot live without–hope. Hope is something that the world is starving for. To hold hope in your heart one must nurture positive thoughts.

I believe we make the choice every day to have a positive and hopeful heart. Negativity invites failure. Studies show that people with a high level of hope do better in life, including professional success and well being.

Today I am featuring author Sue Patton Theole, who wrote the book “Growing Hope“. Theole writes that there are four factors that have been driving the erosion of hope and the growth of despair.

1) Personal pain and how we deal with setbacks, stress, and tragedy

2) Media mayhem and madness–the constant onslaught of bad, ugly, and violent news

3) Economic iffiness–leaving us feeling economically vulnerable

4) Sandpapered senses, due to the bombardment of constant stimuli: cell phones, noise, black-berrys, to-do lists, too much caffeine and sugar–causing us to numb-out, and/or “blow a fuse”

Theole advises us to find balance in your life and to create a personal oasis. We will be talking about these things in the weeks to come.

Here is an exercise Theole calls:

A PRACTICE FOR GROWING HOPE IN YOUR HEART

“Take a moment now and focus on your heart, allowing yourself to sink into and absorb the love that naturally emanates from it. In the theater of your mind, visualize warm, cool, soft, breezy. . .? Talk to your heart even if you feel silly doing so. Thank it for all it does for you, and ask what it would like you to do for yourself, and the greater good. Pay attention, and accept any insights or feelings that come, or don’t come. Simply hanging out with your heart provides a wonderful and potentially healing oasis. Try this exercise whenever you’re feeling devoid of hope.”

Here is a poem from my unpublished book tentatively named “Waiting for the Rest of Your Life“. Enjoy!

This Is Your Brain; This Is Your Brain On Overload!

I obsess, I must confess–
Obsess about obsessiveness!

That tune in my head that plays over and over
The fondness I feel for that dark Russell Stover

Lost for hours shopping in T. J. Max
Searching and pawing through racks and racks

Lying awake at night at 1:05
Figuring out plots from Desperate Housewives

Feeling distracted, my time is not free
With television, laptop, Blackberry, and Wii

Caffeination, frustration, discombobulation
Could I please have a real vacation?

And:

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chilliest land

And on the strangest sea;

Yet, never, in extremity,

It asked a crumb of me.

–Emily Dickinson

When the world whispers

“Give up,”Hope whispers, “

Try it one more time.”

–Author Unknown

Resources:

“A Plan to Make Your Hopes Happen”, Judy Jones, September 2009 more.com

“Growing Hope”, Sue Patton Thoele, Conari Press, 2004

Relax And Renew-It’s Up To You!

Greetings and Felicitations!

Today I want to talk about something that we rarely do, or rarely do well–relax! If you are like me, you have that inner agenda inscribed on your mind. Therefore, even if you do sit down for a little bit, perhaps from exhaustion, do you really unwind? That is my friend Renee, above, a yoga instuctor, doing just that!

Here are some tips that I have gleaned over the years.

1) Don’t watch the clock, and remove your watch occasionally. This will slow you down.

2) Take a “Zen” break, close your eyes and count your blessings while waiting in line, or waiting in general.

3) Stretch, this relaxes the tension in your body. Inhale and lift your shoulders up to your ears, then exhale and loser them.

4) Listen to music, keep is soft–New Age, Classical, Soft Rock. This lowers anxiety levels.

5) Recite the Serenity Prayer; pray to “Accept the things I cannot change, have the courage to change the things I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference”.

6) Time Out! Turn off your TV, computer, cell-phone, and Blackberry for a few hours each day.

7) Practice a slow hobby–gardening, yoga, Pilate’s, needlework, painting, writing, etc., with meditative qualities.

8) Take a scented bath–lavender produces alpha waves, which relax you.

9) Pet your cat or dog

10) Breathe with slow deep breaths, breathe in for a count of 5, hold for a count of 2, breathe out for a count of 5. This mimics your sleep breathing.

And!

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” –Mahatma Gandi

“Nothing excellent can be done without leisure.”–Andre- Gide

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”–Ovid

“To be quite oneself one must first waste a little time.”–Elizabeth Bowen

Here’s a poem about relaxing from my book, Water Running Downhill! Enjoy!

THE ZONE

While sequestered as a willing tenant in
Your self-made prison of busyness
Dream of ways you can be free

To give yourself the gift of
A precious few moments, no distractions
Lock out your outer “life” and meditate

Find that it is almost a new experience, as
You may have forgotten the sensation
Of pure awareness, and nothing else

So used to being the “amazing balancing act”
You have found it hard to stop doing and planning
And just become still

Discover that one can see so much clearer
When traveling at
The speed of now

Peace out!

(: >) Joan

Resources:

Carl Honore, In Praise of Slowness: How a Worldwide Movement Is Challenging the Cult of Speed.

Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer.

Lori Erickson, “Not So Fast, How to Take it Easy In a Hurry-up, Stressed-out World“, Family Circle, 11/29/05.

Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, “Love Your Life“, Family Circle, 10/18/05.